Not Quite Kanto
by Antithesis
Summary: So it's pokémon, sue me! This is just me trying to figure out what life would be like if pokémon actually existed in the real world. Doesn't take place in any particular continuity, and I only use stuff from Red and Blue, so enjoy at your own risk!


**Not Quite Kanto**

Pokemon and all related elements are © Nintendo, Creatures, GameFreak, Viz Comics, Hasbro, Warner Bros, and any other company that is losing money because of its decrease in popularity. Used without permission. 

This story is ©2002 Evan H. All rights reserved. May not be freely distributed. All your bass are belong to us! 

* * *

Author's note: This is just a sort of what-if: What if pokemon existed in today's society? To answer the question, I simply dumped a few pokemon into my daily routine, which is why the main human character is so named. Don't look for any more fanfics to come from this universe, though... 

* * *

The alarm on Evan's watch was beeping. 6:15 AM, time to start another day. The only problem was, he wasn't moving. 

A small animal no bigger than a lap dog jumped on the bed. In plain English it yelled, "C'mon, lazy bones! Let's go!" 

Evan slowly got up as the animal continued jabbering. Finally, Evan said, "Eddie, I get the picture. I'm up." 

"Yeah," Eddie answered, "but I gotta make sure you're really up today, 'cause you know what today is!" 

"What, 'Bring your pokemon to school day'? Ha, no. I just wanted to take you downtown after school, that's all." 

"Yeah, but you wouldn't go to all this trouble for no reason, now would you?" 

Evan held up his hands. "Alright, you got me. The occasion is- no, I can't tell you yet. You'd go bezerk and wake up everyone. Now if you'll excuse me..." He turned and walked out the door to get ready for school. 

* * *

The bus was mostly empty, and its few occupants were asleep. As Evan and Eddie took their seat, Eddie asked, "So, what's the occasion?" 

Evan shook his head. "If I tell you, you'll go bezerk and wake everyone on the bus." 

"Junk. Well, where's the music?" 

Evan shrugged and pulled out his CD player and two pairs of headphones. As they were about to hit 'play,' a girl plopped down into the seat in front of them, turned around, and said, "Hi, Evan," in such a way that you knew she was on one of those perpetual sugar rushes. 

"Hi, Laura," Evan replied. He handed her the CD wallet and added, "This is all I've got today." 

"Who's that you've got there?" Laura asked, pointing at Eddie. 

"This is Eddie. Eddie, Laura. Laura, Eddie." 

Laura giggled. "I like eevees; they're so cute." 

Eddie rolled his eyes while Evan asked, "See any CD's you like?" 

She picked one, and Evan loaned her his earphones. Eddie's had an inline volume control, so he could always turn it down to prevent destroying his overly sensitive hearing. Evan meanwhile pulled out a notebook and began writing. 

As the bus made more stops, the conversation level began to increase. Laura eventually gave back the headphones, and Eddie asked, "Now will you tell me?" 

Evan put on his headphones and mouthed, "I can't hear you." 

Eddie groaned and looked down the isle at the rest of the bus. There were other pokemon owners on the bus; he had seen them waving goodbye to their pokemon as they got on the bus. There didn't seem to be any other pokemon on the bus itself, though. Wait, there was a pikachu near the front. For a second, Eddie considered running up and introducing himself, but he then saw the girls surrounding it, no, her. He shrugged. So much for that idea. 

Suddenly, Evan picked up Eddie off the space next to him and put him on his lap. Pausing the music, he explained, "This is where the bus fills up. Most of the people get on here, including the loudmouths and the..." He hesitated. "-pottymouths. Hand me something loud." 

They spent the next several minutes tuning out the rest of the bus. While turning up the music loud enough to drown out the conversation would damage their hearing, keeping it loud enough to hear allowed them to concentrate on the music rather than the fifty conversations on the bus. That way, if an occasional curse word somehow made it in their ears, the brain usually ignored it. 

As the bus was about to pull into school, Evan began hastily putting away the CD player. "Now remember what I told you," he said to Eddie. "The office said I could only bring you if you stayed in your pokeball during class." 

"But-" Eddie protested. 

"No 'but's," said Evan as he pulled out his school ID and a blue-and-white pokeball about the size of a baseball. He pressed a small switch on the side, and a red beam of energy shot out of the silver button on the front and transported Eddie into the ball. 

"Hopefully, I'll be able to pull you out during study hall," Evan whispered as he stuffed the ball into his backpack. 

* * *

Almost two hours later, Eddie was finally able to come out of the ball. "Have fun," Evan told him, "just stay out of the cabinets. This is the art room, you know." 

"What will you be doing?" Eddie asked. 

"Working. Sorry I can't play, but the more I get done now, the less I'll have to do later." 

"Um, Evan?" Eddie asked as he turned to leave. 

"Yes?" 

"What's the occasion?" 

"If I told you, you'd go bezerk and I'd have to put you back in the ball." 

Eddie cringed at the mention of the pokeball and went exploring across the classroom. It wasn't desks in a neat row like he expected; this was simply a bunch of tables with chairs. "Must be because it's the art room," he thought. 

Out the corner of his eye he saw the pikachu he'd seen on the bus that morning. He walked up to her and said, "Hi, name's Eddie." 

"Cream," she replied flatly. "Before you go making any assumptions..." She pointed at her owner, a skinny African-American girl. "-that's Peaches. Peaches and Cream, a match made in heaven." She rolled her eyes as she said this. "Who's your master?" she asked Eddie, sounding more natural this time. 

Eddie pointed at Evan. "He's pretty nice," he continued, "but he needs to get out a little more." 

"Why doesn't he ever bring you to school?" 

"It's one more thing for him to keep track of, plus I hate pokeballs." 

"Oh, I don't really like them either," Cream said with a wave of her paw, "but I've learned to tolerate them since it doesn't look good at league tournaments if the trainer can't control her pokemon enough to get in a pokeball." 

"You fight in league tournaments?" Eddie asked. 

Cream's ego began to show. "Yes. It's a boatload of work, but people adore you, you get to be on TV, I just love it. Right now I'm at level 36, but I've only got a little more work until I get to 37. What's your level?" 

"I- well, um..." Eddie hung his head. "I don't fight." 

Cream took an air of mock surprise. "Really? You really need to have a talk with your trainer- excuse me, owner. He's clearly denying you a bunch of opportunities." 

Throughout the entire conversation Peaches had sat absorbed in her own conversation, not paying attention to the two pokemon beneath her. Eddie decided he'd had enough of Cream for a while, so he politely said goodbye and walked away, entertaining the idea of him in a league tournament and wondering why Evan hadn't put him in any. 

* * *

The rest of the day passed fairly quickly. Eddie had found a small group of pokemon playing out on the softball field during lunch. They were minding their own business so well, the office allowed them to stay outside instead of going back inside. Eddie soon learned the names and owners/trainers of the other members of the group, and they spent their time talking about various topics, getting Eddie acquainted with the group, and discussing life in other parts of the world. 

"It works kinda like this," a squirtle said. "Some pokemon and their owners are willing to put in the extra time and effort to train for league battles. They're usually called 'trainers.' In this part of the world, you also have owners simply referred to as 'owners.' They're like Evan and Taylor, my owner, who simply want a pokemon like other people want a dog or cat." 

"Are they only in this part of the world?" Eddie asked. 

"I think what Jason meant," said Pyro, a vulpix, "is that they usually don't have 'owners' in areas like Kanto or Johto because there are wild pokemon everywhere. There, humans have to have a reasonably strong level pokemon if only for their own survival!" 

"Whereas here you have to get pokemon from breeders and adoption agencies," Eddie concluded. 

"Right. In Kanto you also have full-time trainers that do nothing but battle for a living. They have these huge league tournaments and a sophisticated badge system to limit enrollment in the league! They have so many applicants that only the fairly average can get in." 

"Like that Ash Ketchum kid?" 

Jason rolled his eyes. "Don't remind me. From what I've heard the kid's a total loser. Sure, he wins battles and stuff, but that's 'cause his pokemon are the only ones that know what they're doing. That and he hangs out with a couple of league administrators. But for the most part, he's just lucky. No offense or anything, but I'm happy right where I am." 

This went on until the final bell rang and everyone went home. Eddie learned later that Pyro actually did fight in league tournaments, but unlike Cream, he hadn't looked down on Eddie or Jason for their status. 

* * *

Evan and Eddie got off the bus at the downtown stop instead of their morning stop in the suburbs. When Eddie inquired why, Evan simply replied, "Can't tell you, you'll go bezerk." 

After a quick stop at the library so Evan could finish his homework, they walked a few blocks down to the music store. This particular store also had a coffee bar at the back and a terrace on the roof. Evan bought a couple of drinks and a muffin and both he and Eddie went up onto the terrace. It was essentially deserted, despite the unnaturally warm weather for March. 

"Eddie," Evan began, his voice deadly serious, "I brought you up here because I know you've been considering joining the league." 

"Well, I-" Eddie began, but Evan cut him off. 

"I don't want you to think that I'm denying you any of your potential. The league is advertising a free element stone for new members, and, well, you're an eevee." He took a sip of his drink and continued. "If you're willing to work at it, we can do it. If it's what you want... then I'm willing to support you at it." 

A silence followed. Eddie considered what Cream had said earlier that day, and for a minute he considered going for it. But then his mind turned to his conversation with Jason and Pyro, and how neither of them seemed to make a big deal over whether one was in the league or not. 

Then his imagination kicked in and he began to see himself in the fighting ring going tooth-and-nail with another pokemon. Evan was there on the sidelines, cheering him on. Eddie looked at the scene playing in his mind and thought, "That doesn't look like me." To all outward appearances it was him, but Eddie simply couldn't comprehend fighting like that for no apparent reason. Then there was Evan. Pokemon are inherently gifted in reading their trainers', or owners', emotions. Evan was cheering Eddie on from the sidelines, but it didn't look like his heart was in it. It looked like every time either pokemon was hit, Evan got hurt emotionally. Pulling himself back to reality, Eddie saw the same pained look on his owner's face now. 

Everything in him cried out no, and that made Eddie's decision that much easier. "This fightin' stuff," he said, breaking the long silence, "it's just not for me." 

Evan and Eddie took one look at each other, and that one look said more than either of them could have tried to say out loud. 

* * *

Eddie took off straight for the electronics section as soon as they went back downstairs. After a few minutes, Evan came to get him, suggesting that they kill some time at the park across the street. 

Eddie ran in random directions for a few minutes, simply enjoying life and killing time and energy. In this spontaneous fashion he ran into Cream. Literally. 

Cream obviously wasn't very happy about it and gave him a thundershock to answer. However, it failed to do more than give Eddie a nasty shock. No paralyzation, no knockout, just a large amount of static. 

Evan ran up with a palm-sized computer in hand and scanned Eddie for any damage, then pointed the scanner at Cream, who was making a fast getaway toward Peaches. 

"Interesting," Evan said quietly. "Eddie," he said louder, "you are the proud recipient of a level two thundershock. Compensate for your level five status and your natural resistance to electric attacks and you have... no damage." 

"But..." Eddie said, bewildered, "Cream said she was in the league at level 36..." 

Evan smiled and waved at Peaches to show no harm was done, and Peaches waved back. Evan and Eddie then walked back to Evan's backpack. 

"Oh, I never told you what the occasion was," Evan casually remarked. "But, since this is a safe place for you to go bezerk..." He reached in his backpack and pulled out a brand new CD, evidently having just been purchased. 

Eddie went bezerk. "You got the Newsboys CD!" he yelled over and over while running spontaneously around the park again, this time steering well clear of Cream. After exhausting himself, he went back to the shade, pulled on his headphones, and sighed in content. 

* * *

- www.madcrasher.com - 


End file.
